There’s a phrase often heard, usually spoken by a person just recently insulted. “You have no right to call me that!”, or any other phrase claiming there has been some kind of rights violation which occurred when person A describes person B in some manner they personally deem inappropriate. It is important to note that it is thought of as inappropriate, because I have yet to witness an interaction where a stranger compliments or otherwise judges someone in a positive light and the person receiving this judgment plays the lack-of-rights-to-do-that card.
Is it some sort of socially-synthesized safeguard against insults and hurtful words, meant to make the accuser feel just as bad as the accused? Is it just a natural reaction, or something people actually think is granted them by some outside source? Whatever it may be, it seems to be used quite often, especially from hecklers at stand-up shows.
Why am I even addressing this? Judgment is good! When made vocal or written, it allows everyone to understand what is thought of, felt, and perceived by other people, which is a perspective which would otherwise be near impossible to acquire. Even the most poorly thrown together judgments based on little to no facts or evidence serve a role in the exchange of ideas, because when the misinformed remain silent, you can’t really tell who needs what information.
If you are insulted by someone, consider how they would arrive to their conclusion! Is their statement true? Perhaps you should change your behavior? Maybe they haven’t seen the whole picture? It’s okay to be mad at them, but letting them and everyone around know that you feel that you deserve to only hear nice things about yourself is unrealistic, full of undeserved ego, and sometimes the source of more insults.
Lastly, I know someone is going to think bigotry is going to be some sort of exception, so I’ll cover that, too. Although an awful thing, it’s important that these ideas are heard as well. The only way a sexist, racist, homophobe, or other bigoted person gets through life easily is if they keep it to themselves. If that happens, their ideas will never be challenged, and they’ll stubbornly remain misguided for life.
The Grand Philosophies of Facebook Users
Among Facebook’s several design flaws are a number of things that can be avoided if you take the right steps. What I’ve noticed that you can’t avoid are the little angsty preppy teen quotes everyone copy/pastes into their wall. Some of it has been made into business by turning them into things you can like on a “like site” with ads and such on it. Still, these little quotes can still plague your feeds.
Occasionally, emotions will overrun someone’s mind, and force them to post things like “men are awful” against their will. It can be happy emotions, too, like “I have the best girlfriend/boyfriend”. In any given moment, at least 90% of the population that is in a relationship would say they’re in the best one (or at least perfect!). If you ask that same group three years later, unless they were in the same relationship, they would definitely say it wasn’t the best.
Sometimes, they’ll even go as far as condescending to those who don’t happen to have learned from the faults they had in the past. Here’s a quote I saw earlier today:
“(Name) Doesnt care about “girls like bad boys” stereotype. I am dating a nice guy, assholes are overrated and I refuse to date them. Keep your dangerous rebels, emo boys, guys who are more jaded then a hobo living under a bridge hooked on meth, guys who like to seem distant so that the girls will chase them(nice reverse psychology). Ive got a good guy and Im not another statistic.”
Sure, that’s nice. While on the outside this is just another “I’m glad I’m not single at the moment”, it’s only slightly more than that. This person may also want to legitimately help someone else be as happy as she as, but in doing so, she has only formed a statement that fits that claim of a “Perfect relationship” status. Other people will tend to cheer these posts on, with even less insight:
“Amen girl! The good guys are the ones who will still cherish you when you’re old and wrinkly.” & “Scream it sister! Amen“. This will happen regardless of the positive/negative qualities of the post they care commenting on.
I’ve seen this sort of thing hundreds of times. It’s generally an early relationship thing, where one is just happy to be with someone, and the arguments haven’t started yet. This happiness from just being with someone is what prevents relationship-straining topics like “What is your opinion on abortion?” from coming up early on. There’s a point in the beginning of a relationship where you’d prefer to be floating in your brain’s happy chemicals than know if the relationship is genuinely going to last. But I’ve arrived at a tangent at this point.
There are also some religion propaganda to help deepen your level of indoctrination, but that’s another topic for another day.
I could just be overthinking this, though. Maybe Facebook is just somewhere thinking doesn’t belong. I went there to connect to people, and I got way more than I wanted. I guess the general public is whatever the popular social site at the time makes it, which would mean Facebook is to blame for enabling these people to feel good about their existence without actually doing anything of value. It’s no place for my social commentary, art, inventions, psychology, or philosophy. That’s quite a shame, really, since these things (not mine in particular, but everyone who provides such things) bring legitimate lasting pleasure to people in the big picture. After all, it’s nerdy stuff (computers, smart phones, and other tech you’re spoiled with at this point that only nerds had three years ago) that you’re using to read this and post stuff on Facebook.
Related Blog Post by Bob Waack.
Minor note: While I’m aware I may upset people with this post, the intention is to educate, not anger.